they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize