he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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