So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
