Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
