She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
only you would photoshop your dick
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
