No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
