You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
