it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
