I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
