I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
