I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
