I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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