U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
