and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
