He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize