my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
