If that was your dad, he is hot
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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