I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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