No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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