when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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