I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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