butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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