She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
