I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
