i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
