As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
