I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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