This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
