dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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