I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You've changed since you got that strap on
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
