I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
