No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
