Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
