idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
