I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize