Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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