My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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