she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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