don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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