Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
