How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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