On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
