oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
