You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
