I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize