Christians are straight up FREAKS
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
