Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
