Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
