You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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