No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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