brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
