You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
