I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
