No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize