Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
