you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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