Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
