Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
