is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
