I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
