glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Porn is love you can see.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize