"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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