how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
