In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize