Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
