You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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