yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
