i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
