about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize