i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
