She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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