So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
