I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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